Please read the two case studies below – incorporating Borderline personality disorder and catatonic schizophrenia,
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A case study of person ‘A’ with depression who has been diagnosed with ‘Borderline Personality Disorder’
Introduction
‘A’ has had various symptoms for years, like feelings of claustrophobia, waking up happy one morning and depressed the next, together with panic attacks and they have had very little control over those emotions and feelings. It is debilitating, and sometimes difficult for others to deal with.
This is their story as told by them:
I have had therapy for many years – Psychotherapy, Hypnotherapy, one to one counselling, Adlerian psychology, and, although they have helped in the short term as someone there to talk to, they have not cured me and my symptoms have continued to get worse and my life stuck on hold by them.
Recently, I went to a Psychiatrist, as I was desperate to find out for sure that there was nothing seriously wrong. I had been told and had convinced myself that I had depression, but my symptoms did not last long enough for me to be depressed, as I could flit from being extremely down, extremely angry or fairly happy.
After two one hour sessions, the Psychiatrist came to his conclusion with a diagnosis of ‘Borderline Personality Disorder’ based on my current and past history of actions, feelings and behaviour traits.
I was relieved at first, as I had a name for it at last, and when I looked it up on various websites, I had all the symptoms just as they were described on the sites. Then I felt sad, as I didn’t really want to have a mental disorder, and although I wanted to tell everyone my news, so that they would then understand why I am like I am, I knew that they might see me in a different light, and reject me. As my fear of rejection is so strong anyway, I decided to keep it to myself, telling only my boyfriend and one of my siblings.
How I feel
I never really feel ‘happy and content’ inside. I can feel excited, temporarily happy, angry, aggressive, loving, depressed and empty, extremely sad, charitable, obsessive, jealous, hopeless, worthless and confused. I can feel any of these emotions at any time, and often they are temporary (a few hours up to a day or so). The main emotion that stays with me most of the time is anxiety and I have trouble relaxing and dealing with the smallest of things sometimes.
I can switch from one good emotion to another in a flash, and no-one can understand why – even though I have reasons of my own at the time.
Everything is either black or white – I can switch from liking someone a lot, to disliking them completely, just through one individual incident. This hurts those people if I confront them with it, but most of all, it hurts me and my relationship.
Because I moan about so many things, when I have something that really means something to me, it is not taken notice of.
I feel ‘needy’ in relationships and I crave lots of attention.
I don’t really trust anyone.
I can be, as I would call it ‘a performing monkey’ when around others. Apart from my close family, who get to see some of the ‘real me’, I will put on a happy face and pretend everything is rosy most of the time. Most people, outside of my family, would probably say that I am happy go lucky and nice to be around. Whether it be through worry over what others would think, or just to make myself feel a little better, I have covered a lot up, and whilst on the outside, I have been a bubbly, happy go lucky person who seems to be doing ok, inside I have been often darkly miserable and wanted to cry, shout and sometimes just end it all. I have had hardly anyone they could talk to (apart from counsellors, doctors and therapists) as I feel people would not understand and it would possibly have meant that I would lose friends or mar relationships giving them that knowledge. This may not be the case, but I have preferred not to test them. I now have a very understanding boyfriend who, at first, could not understand, but now we are supporting each other and are much happier.
I felt that my past life and experiences were all good and I was a happy person, but when interviewed by the Psychiatrist, I realised that this was not correct. Once we uncovered the fact that I have suffered with self harming, eating disorders, obsessive behaviours, no ability to stick with responsibility and jobs for long, have been in unstable and sometimes abusive relationships, drink and drug abuse, slept around when I was young and have spent a lot of time running away from people or events, I realised that perhaps I had not had the idealic life that I thought I had. I have, in fact, made lots of mistakes that have cost me dearly, due to my anxiety and impulsive decisions.
I am not a bad person – I just have a few issues. I behave within the social system, care for my family and friends, am polite in public and try to be as charitable as I can.
How could I be helped?
What I need is ‘understanding’ from others, so that they can provide help. Some of my friends abandoned me when I was younger, as they could not understand my moods, and it was very upsetting at the time, but I found out who my friends are!
Therefore, I agree very much that the stigma around mental health problems needs to be lifted and I am very grateful to the ‘Time to change’ campaigns and other help.
I had a very bad experience a few years ago, when at my lowest level, I moved back home to my parents, and tried to get a doctor quickly to help, as I felt so awful. I trudged the doctor’s surgeries in my area, desperately asking them for help – some said they were full, and others saw me first, and once I told them my problems tearfully and that I felt suicidal, I was told they could not take me on. Luckily, my old family doctor took me back on, and my symptoms subsided once I felt the comfort of someone caring, but the fact that I was dismissed by doctors in the national health system when telling them of my suicidal thoughts, is disgraceful and not acceptable.
The future
I decided not to take antidepressants as I do not like using drugs, but this could be seen by others that I do not need them. It is not the case. I have decided that rather than covering it up with drugs, so that I forget I have a problem, I would face it full on and not forget, so that I can help myself to understand my problem fully and recover. It has proven to be a long journey, but I am getting there, and life looks brighter right now and I have a wonderful boyfriend who is very understanding and has stuck by me.
I am going to get a second opinion with the National Health, as I cannot afford to have the suggested therapy and consultations with the private Psychiatrist and specialist that was recommended, and then move forward from there with the correct therapy for me. I am also writing as a self therapy process. My main objective is to settle down and be more ‘normal’ whatever that is :-)
Some site about this disorder:
The personality disorder website: http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk
Other http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/borderline-personality-disorder-fact-sheet/index.shtml
Rehink’s information:
Types of personality disorder: http://www.rethink.org/about_mental_illness/mental_illnesses_and_disorders/personality_disorders/types_of.html
Symptoms of personality disorder: http://www.rethink.org/about_mental_illness/mental_illnesses_and_disorders/personality_disorders/symptoms_of.html
Causes of personality disorders: http://www.rethink.org/about_mental_illness/mental_illnesses_and_disorders/personality_disorders/causes_of.html
Treatments for personality disorder: http://www.rethink.org/about_mental_illness/mental_illnesses_and_disorders/personality_disorders/treatments_for.html
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A case study of person ‘B’ who’s Mother has Catatonic Schizophrenia
I have had a close experience with Catatonic Schizophrenia ever since I was born – a close family member, my Mother, has it. I have learnt a lot from my experiences of this disorder through my Mother.
Life was difficult when I was young, and as a result, all of our family have been affected in some way.
When I was younger, and at school, my Mother’s schizophrenia caused me problems – I was bullied and young children do have a habit of loudly exclaiming their thoughts. Their mothers knew, and my Mum was ignored by many of them when she picked me up, and I could not have many friends round my house, for fear of my mother doing or saying something ridiculous or nasty. My mother was diagnosed with schizophrenia and that is now nearly 52 years ago. She is now on medication, and is much better, but the past caused her many problems and I do not agree with many things that went on, including her many doses of electric shock treatment. She had a lot of that during her many years in hospital and I would like to find out if they were doing it to shut her and the others up, so they were more manageable or whether it really was necessary? The thing is, she was not violent, and catatonia causes one to withdraw, not lash out.
After many years of taking sides with both of them, I realise today, that my father has been committed in his marriage to my Mother, which is worth a medal. Unfortunately, most of his ‘protection’ and ‘support’ has been with his wife and his children have suffered as a result. Although in many ways I find it difficult to understand why four children were born into this family, but I realise that my Father didn’t know better – he was told by certain doctors that having children would benefit my Mother and her disease, without a thought for the children that would be born and would discover the down sides of that decision and advice.
My Mother has suffered many years in psychiatric hospitals, due to bouts of catatonia and attempted suicide. She has not been supported enough by the NHS and we, as family members have not been supported either – I have never been approached for counselling or help as a child born to my Mother and this disease, yet I spent the first 6 years of my life visiting her in hospital at various times.
My siblings and I did not receive the attention and care that we needed, and we all went down our own paths as children, without much interaction from our parents. Our lack of knowledge of her symptoms and how to help meant that we were all living our own lives in denial. I have suffered guilt, pain, hate, love and many more emotions due to my Mother’s problems.
My siblings would have seen a very different mum to me – someone who was always trying to commit suicide, wading into the sea, rocking in the chair at home, depressed and in her own world, up and down like a yo yo. I did not get those symptoms to the same degree, but instead saw lots of anger.
When I was eight years old and sick of hearing the shouting and arguments and my Dad being upset, I wanted my Dad to divorce my Mother and I didn’t want to see her again. I didn’t see her as my Mother and I hated her. I remember when she was in a foul angry mood one day when I was eleven, and she was being so nasty to me, I Lashed out at her and broke her finger. I felt immediately bad.
Over time, I have bonded much better, and took the time out to find out about her condition and to forgive her past actions, and I now have as best a relationship as I can and go out for lunch with her and stuff. It is not her fault that she was ill, and I feel sorry that it happened to her – and all of us!
Scizophrenia – my experience of how she was treated
• Ignored by those outside of the family who knew
• I am investigating her treatment in hospital (multiple shock treatments when she was not out of control)
• Not supported by the health system
• Family not supported by the health system or taught in any way of how to deal with the issues and symptoms, leading to further problems within the family unit
• Family member embarrassment and neglect
A new government run scheme that has been long awaited by people like me is called ‘Time to change’ – www.time-to-change.org.uk It is there to try to educate people not to be biased about a mental health problem – to treat people that have one as an individual and with respect , the same as everyone else.
Mind info on Schizophrenia: http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/Understanding/Understanding+schizophrenia.htm
Rethink info: http://www.rethink.org/about_mental_illness/mental_illnesses_and_disorders/schizophrenia/index.html
Symptoms: http://www.rethink.org/about_mental_illness/mental_illnesses_and_disorders/schizophrenia/symptoms_of_schizoph.html
Causes: http://www.rethink.org/about_mental_illness/mental_illnesses_and_disorders/schizophrenia/causes_of_schizophre.html
Treatment: http://www.rethink.org/about_mental_illness/mental_illnesses_and_disorders/schizophrenia/treatment_for.html
Information on the use of ECT (Electroconvulsive Therapy) and Catatonic Schizophrenia: http://www.informaworld.com/smpp/content~content=a908763815~db=all~jumptype=rss
Some more information: http://priory.com/psych/cataton.htm
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